Southend defeat preview

Beesy has always hated Southend. With their non-league boys made good Essex fairytale, irritating as hell local DJ “stadium” announcer and beyond-irony ‘win a Ford Fiesta’ half time competition they stand for the sort of ambitious betterment of small clubs that is the antithesis of everything we believe in, making them as welcome at Griffin Park as a bowel movement on a rainy day.

They also have a settled team comprising proper strikers, pace, a little tactical nouse and some clever loan signings of skilful players from a higher level; in short the antithesis of everything we expect to see in a red and white shirt tomorrow.

For Brentford let’s assume we will persist with Sam Wood at left back – correctly picked by one GPG user as a non-league full back – and probably Leon Legge upfront. An assortment of ineffectual wingers will feature on the opposite of their preferred wing, while a pedestrian midfield will watch Southend bypass them with ease.

Ever get the feeling morale is low?

- Southend’s pier will continue to be the longest in the world until it burns down in March 2010.

- Fat-tongued c*nt Jamie Oliver is from Southend.

- Southend striker Lee Barnard invented the laser jet printer.

- There was another one but I’ve forgotten it.

Re our Bristol Rovers restraint

This is what we were going to write:

“As our preview intimates, some of Beesy didn’t bother with this one due to family commitments. They didn’t need to – the main points about the team at the moment are glaringly obvious, so here goes:

- We only just got promoted from a very mediocre Division Four, and even then only because of the loan signings of Jordan Rhodes and Billy Clarke. Anyone who thought we would be contenders for promotion is insane – the reason Peterborough and MK Dons were is they have vast amounts of cash to lavish on their squads.

- Our squad is not obviously stronger than that promotion year. Strevens may be the new Pele – we’ll find out in November – but the other signings don’t thus far seem much of an upgrade on their forebears.

- Kevin O’Connor may well be a loyal servant of the club (although by the same definition a man who is repeatedly turned down for new jobs is loyal) but he is not good enough to play central midfield in Division Three, seemingly lacking the mobility to impose himself on a game. It should not be forgotten he played the same role in possibly the worst Brentford team ever seen, and only a competence at right back saved him from being bombed out when Allen first joined.

- Against combative, well-organised teams neither is Hunt, mainly due to his lack of pace. We need a proper central midfielder in to partner Bean and fast.

- Don’t give us this Wilson at full back bollocks. Pair him with Bennett and have the guts to pick the strongest team.

- Saunders is alright but lacks pace and is lightweight, lord knows what we were thinking commiting transfer fees for Taylor and Weston on current evidence.

- Price is rubbish.”

We’ll stand by that.